Cultivating Fulfilling Relationships - Nurturing the Relationship Within

 

As a young man in his mid-twenties, I find myself actively and subconsciously yearning for that special someone to share my life with. My aspirations have always revolved around establishing a solid foundation of friendship with my future wife for at least a year, followed by a year of dating, and finally a year of engagement, culminating in marriage by the time I reach the age of thirty.

 

This vision may appear ambitious, and I must confess, it is. Therefore, I remain open to modifying it as I progress on my journey. I have a clear understanding of what I desire in a life partner (or so I believe), and I am equally aware of the qualities and traits I do not seek. However, as I grow older, I am increasingly cognizant of the immense challenge involved in finding someone who embodies my desires while simultaneously avoiding those aspects I deem undesirable. This realization often leads to a sense of impatience, which in turn prolongs the wait for the arrival of my future wife.

 

Occasionally, I find myself contemplating the notion that she exists out there somewhere, engaged in her own endeavors. I wonder what she might be doing at that precise moment and whether she ponders the possibility of our connection. While I actively engage in the pursuit of a meaningful relationship, I am often reminded by friends that they discovered their life partners when they least expected it. These anecdotes serve as a reminder that I must trust in a higher power, recognizing that the moment will arrive when God deems both of us ready to encounter each other and reveal the connection we are destined to share.

 

So, does this imply that I am not yet prepared for such a profound bond? Personally, I believe I am, although doubts occasionally creep into my mind. Perhaps it is she who is not yet prepared, focusing her energy on self-improvement to enhance our eventual union. Nonetheless, the question of my readiness persists. How will I ascertain whether I am prepared or not? I firmly believe that the answer lies in how I respond to the following inquiries:

 

Financial Preparedness: Am I in a stable financial position? Admittedly, this is a challenging question for most individuals. Having graduated from college a couple of years ago, I have already navigated through two career changes and experienced periods of unemployment. As a result, my financial status is far from ideal, not to mention the looming presence of credit card debt. Therefore, I must dedicate more thought towards saving for the future, planning for home-ownership, and responsibly managing my outstanding bills. After all, I do not wish to burden my future wife with my financial struggles and spending habits. I recognize the need for self-improvement in the realm of personal finance.

 

Physical Well-being: Am I physically fit and attractive? To be honest, I am not in the best physical shape, and attractiveness is a subjective matter. It is essential for me to prioritize joining a gym, researching and implementing healthier cooking habits as a bachelor, and being mindful of my dining choices. What better motivation for fitness than the desire to look and feel good, both for oneself and for a significant other? Ultimately, I hope my future wife finds me as appealing as I find her.

 

Intellectual Growth: Am I intellectually competent? Armed with a college degree, I am inclined to believe that I possess a certain level of intelligence. However, it becomes evident during activities such as watching game shows like Jeopardy or engaging in board games with friends that I still have much to learn. Therefore, I contemplate the idea of pursuing further education. After all, I aspire for my future wife to perceive me as an intelligent individual.

 

Spiritual Alignment: Am I spiritually attuned to God as I desire to be? Do I attend church regularly? Do I engage in daily Bible reading? Am I more inclined to make requests of God rather than expressing gratitude during prayer? Am I setting a positive example for others and guiding them in matters of faith? Ultimately, I envision a future where my wife and I can share prayerful moments together, potentially taking on leadership roles within a youth group. These reflections prompt me to evaluate my current spiritual journey.

 

Individual Happiness: Am I content as an individual? While a relationship can certainly contribute to happiness and alleviate the sense of loneliness, should I burden my future wife with the responsibility of filling that void? The ability to be comfortable in one's own skin, to find joy in solitude, and to not be dependent on another person is an essential step in the right direction. I firmly believe that needing someone to fill a void differs significantly from desiring someone to share a fulfilled life. This is precisely why relationships must originate from a foundation of self-love and self-acceptance. After all, if we fail to love ourselves, how can we expect another person to do so?

 

"Happiness depends upon ourselves."

~ Aristotle

 

When we strive to fulfill the aforementioned aspects of our lives to a satisfactory degree, we position ourselves for a fortuitous encounter with our future spouse. They may be awaiting us at the local bookstore, the gym, a place of worship, our workplace, educational institutions, or even a bank. I do not anticipate accomplishing all of these objectives within the next four years, but I commit myself to ongoing personal growth and self-improvement. Above all, I hope my future partner shares a similar dedication. Together, we will continue to strive toward these ideals, fostering a deep bond rooted in mutual growth, love, and happiness.